Decisions
by BlueDream1
Summary: WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD: When faced with what s probably the most difficult choice in her life, Kate has to make a decision...


**WARNING: POSSIBLE SPOILERS AHEAD!**

Hey, Jaters! *grouphug*

Happy Maybe***Day! ;p This is just a little something that just wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it down – even if it meant ignoring exams completely and having to nearly kill myself with studying the day after. Oh well, you can´t resist Jate, right? *giggle*

Anyway, this is my take on what could happen after The Little Prince, and what could maybe make Kate change her decision about not going back to the island. The majority of this is just my imagination, but, just to be sure: if you have no idea what´s happening in the Spoilerland, and want it to stay that way, stop reading right here. If you do, please R&R. :p

_**Decisions**_

She looked down at the boy sleeping peacefully by her side. _If she went back, she would lose him. She would have to give him back to Claire, if she was alive; and even thought she knew it was the right thing to do, during the past three years she had come to love that boy so much that she wasn´t sure if she could live through that separation. And if Claire decided to leave the island one day, she would take Aaron with her, and she would lose him forever. If she didn´t go, on the other hand, she would lose Jack_. With a tear sliding down her cheek, she remembered their last conversation…

*****

˝And I…I won´t be going back, Kate. ˝he said slowly, avoiding her eyes as he swallowed hard.

She looked up at him. ˝You…you _what_? ˝she asked, confused. ˝What do you mean you won´t be going back?! ˝she demanded, raising her voice for an octave, her anger returning. _Was this another trick to get her to agree with him?_

His hand went up and he brushed his the back of his head in a desperate gesture. ˝I…I _can't_ go back. I don't know why, but that's the way it works. Once I arrive there, I have to stay. ˝

˝You have to…?! That´s the stupidest thing I´ve ever heard, Jack! Where did you even get that from?! ˝

He took a deep breath before replying, knowing it would just piss her off even more. ˝Ben told me. ˝he said quietly; then looked down, not wanting to see the anger in her eyes.

˝And you trust him?! ˝she yelled, almost shaking from anger. _After everything that had happened, how could he trust him?_

He sighed, tiredly. ˝He´s the only one that knows the way back. So, yeah, I trust him. ˝he said; then added, more sadly. ˝I have to. ˝

˝No…NO! ˝she said, lunching towards him. ˝You don´t get to do this! You don´t get to do this to me and Aaron! Not again! Not like this! ˝she continued to scream, her fists pounding into his chest. He managed to catch her wrists; struggling to get her to calm down, more afraid that she would hurt herself than that she was hurting him, ´cause he knew he deserved it.

˝Hey…calm down….stop it, Kate. ˝he repeated gently, his arms wrapping around her and locking her in a tight hold. That finally did it, as she stopped to struggle and collapsed into his embrace, her fingers holding tightly onto his shirt as she buried her head into his neck and started sobbing, her whole body trembling with cry.

_He couldn't do it. He couldn't leave them…leave her. Not forever. He just…couldn't_. He felt her writhing in his embrace, and he slowly set her free, taking a step back and waiting for her reaction, not sure if she would break down again or continue to punch him.

He watched her take a deep breath and then raising her head to look up at him, their eyes locking for barely a minute before she did what he realized she would do just a second before it actually happened: she leaned in, her eyes holding his gaze until halfway towards him; and then she finally closed them, opening her mouth and letting them find their way towards his awaiting ones. He closed his eyes too and the next moment her lips crashed on his, kissing him fiercely and passionately; her hand coming to rest on the back of his head as she pulled him closer, her mouth literally attacking his; but he didn´t mind, returning the kiss with the same passion; his hand coming to rest on the side of her neck, gently caressing the soft skin there as their tongues dueled in a frenzy rhythm.

After what seemed like eternity, they finally pulled away, both breathless.

˝Stay with me. ˝he heard her whisper, and he felt his heart breaking in two. _He hated doing this, he hated hurting her, watching her in pain, but he knew he had to do this; or he would never find peace._

He sighed and leaned his forehead against hers. ˝If I stay, the guilt will crash me, Kate. You saw what it did to me last time. ˝he said quietly, and he felt her shiver at the image. ˝I would just fall into addiction again and…˝he paused, trying to find the right words, struggling with his emotions. ˝…and I don't want to be that man anymore. So I have to go. ˝he finished sadly.

She looked up at him, her eyes full of tears; trying to comprehend the magnitude of what it meant.

˝I can´t… Aaron…if I go back, I´ll lose him and I…I…˝she started, shaking her head, tears streaming down her face, as she buried her head in his chest, her whole body trembling.

He put his hands on either side of her face and gently lifted it up, looking at her reassuringly. ˝Hey. Kate, look at me. ˝he repeated, and this time she listened, her sad emerald eyes meeting his, as she tried to compose herself. ˝I _know_ that. And I´m not asking you to. At least not anymore. ˝he added sadly; as he realized that this was the last time he would see her. He paused for a moment; then forced himself to shake those thoughts away – _he would have plenty of time to think about them; but now, he had to comfort her_. He brushed his fingers across her face; slowly, gently, like he used to do back then, when they were together; then started to lean in, slowly, wanting to preserve every moment, every second. His lips landed on hers gently, tentatively at first, not moving, just…resting there; and he closed his eyes, drinking in her scent, her warmth, her closeness, wanting to memorize it all, so he would have something to hold on to in the years to come. His fingers gently caressed her cheek as he kissed her slowly, tenderly, trying to pour all his love in that one kiss that would be their last. He slowed down, planting a series of baby kisses all across her lips; then coming to a halt, his tongue darting out to lick a small tear that nested in the corner of her mouth before he slowly pulled away, their foreheads resting on each other´s; their noses still touching.

˝Don´t go.˝ she whispered; so quietly that he barely heard her.

He closed his eyes, fighting back the tears. _He had to be strong. For her_. ˝I have to.˝ he said quietly; then leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. ˝I love you, Kate. Always have and always will. Don´t forget that. ˝he said; pulling away from her abruptly.

She watched him leave, finally understanding what it mean to have your heart broken into thousands and thousands of small pieces. He reached the door; but then stopped, his hand on the handle. _He wanted to turn around, to look at her one last time; but he knew he mustn't. If he did that, he would change his mind and stay with her, he was sure of that._ Slowly, he closed his eyes, took a deep breathe, opened the door…and then he was gone.

*****

She repeated his words again in her head.

_˝I can´t go back. I don´t know why, but that´s the way it works. Once I arrive there, I have to stay.˝_

_If she went with him, she would lose Aaron. If she stayed, she would never see Jack again. Whatever choice she made, she knew it would be the most important one in her whole life. But even as she was thinking about that, she knew that her choice had already been made. Her heart had made it for her_. She looked down at Aaron again, more tears sliding down her face. ˝I´m sorry, baby, I´m so sorry. ˝she sobbed, placing a gentle kiss on his head; then wrapping his hands around him and picking him up.

He stirred at the change of position, opening his eyes and watching at her, sleepy and confused. ˝Where are we going, Muammy? ˝

She threw a blanket around him, took her purse and then, taking a deep breath, replied: ˝We´re going on an island, baby. ˝

*****

He was standing at the dock, hands in pockets, staring at the lights that were coming from the marine. _She wouldn't come._ Sure, he wasn't expecting her to anyway, but a part of him hoped that she would.

He was startled from his thoughts by the sound of footsteps slowly approaching.

˝It´s time to go, Jack. ˝Ben said quietly; debating if he should put his hand on the man´s shoulder, but deciding against it, not wanting to show his weak side; although he was feeling sorry for the man in front of him.

Jack looked at him; then gave him a small nod, before turning to look at the city one last time. Ben understood the message, and he slowly turned away and headed towards the boat, giving the man privacy for his last goodbye.

Jack pulled something out from his pocket; then looked down at it. _Smiley faces of Kate and Aaron were looking at him from the photo in his hand. It was taken a couple of days before he proposed her, at the playground, during what he still considered one of his happiest days ever_. He smiled. He looked up at the lights again, trying to preserve the image of them in his mind; then slowly whispered: ˝Goodbye, Aaron. Goodbye, Kate. ˝he said, this one more quietly. ˝ And with that, he put the photo back in his pocket, turned around; and headed towards the boat….

˝Did you untie the left one, Des? ˝Sayid asked, working fast.

˝Aye. ˝he replied, tossing the rope aside and climbing upstairs.

˝Okay, then I think it´s time this beauty sails out. ˝Sayid said, and started the engine.

Suddenly, the sound of a speeding car ripped the air, and they all turned around to see a silver Volvo turning right and hitting the breaks right in front of the dock. Kate stepped out of the car; then reached back inside, lifting a still sleeping Aaron and then reemerging again, looking up and meeting his eyes. His face was so full of happiness and love that she felt her eyes filling with tears again. Closing the door, she looked up him again and, smiling through tears, called out:

˝Is there room for two more? ˝

_______

Hope there are ˝SOME˝ Jate goodies in tonight´s eppy ;)

Please R&R!


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